Monday, August 29, 2011

Choose to Make Marriage a Priority

It was during the spring of my sophomore year in college that I first read Candice Watters’ Get Married. God had recently begun a work in my life, challenging me to rethink my views of marriage and singleness.

Watters’ words were in turns encouraging, challenging, and convicting. One passage in particular stood out to me then and has since often returned to my mind as I have struggled to balance my priorities.

Even women who deeply desire marriage find themselves pouring themselves into their life as a single woman with little thought or planning for their future as a married one. They’re hard at work on their careers and financial goals—their “Plan B” as many call it—just in case Plan A is delayed or never happens. It’s understandable, and in our culture, praised, to make the most of your singleness … But as a wise friend told me, “When Plan B gets all the attention, it becomes Plan A"...

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Monday, August 22, 2011

Keep Asking Questions

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to ask questions. The excitement of a new connection can generate a lot of momentum as you fire questions back and forth in a flurry of discovery. Who is this guy? How did this girl become the person she is? Why did he choose this career path? When did she come to Christ?

As the newness of the relationship wears off, however, there is a natural tendency to settle into a comfortable holding pattern. It’s easy to start feeling like you know this person in a deeper way than you actually do. It’s tempting to stop exploring and just start enjoying the growing intimacy of your relationship.

There is nothing wrong with romantic feelings, as long as they are kept in the proper perspective. That’s where intentionality comes in...

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Monday, August 15, 2011

Don't Judge A Person By Their Online Profile

I have a bad habit. I judge books by their covers … literally. I walk up and down the shelves of libraries and bookstores and peruse the covers of books, waiting for one to stand out from the crowd.

Experience has backed up the old cliché. This is not the most effective way to choose good reading material.

Still, I often find myself tempted by particularly enticing cover art. Like I said, it’s a habit.

Despite all reasoning, I’ve found myself stumbling into this same mindset when reading through match profiles...

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Monday, August 8, 2011

Online Photo Do's and Don'ts

While I wouldn’t recommend the vinegar and fried chicken strategy, Rhett and Link make some good points. If you want to meet that special someone, your profile picture can be either a huge asset or nasty liability – especially on a dating site...

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Monday, August 1, 2011

Date Safely

“What qualities do you look for in a potential date or mate?”

In their book Safe People, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend discuss how a group of Christian college students answered this question.

The answers went something like this: “I want someone spiritual, godly, ambitious, fun to be with,” and so on. They replied as I had expected. And that disturbed me (Henry), for as a counselor and as a person, I know that these are not the issues that cause relationships to break apart.

It’s not that these answers are unimportant. It’s that “I want to marry someone spiritual” is too broad of a statement. We need to get more specific than blanket religious categories...

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